MENTAL FLATULENCE 

Below is a collection of what I call 'Blonde Moments', where things have been said before engaging the brain.

 

While talking to Lauren about my nausiating train journey from Wales to Portsmouth, Lauren said "You went by train? I thought you got there by boat."

 

On a holiday to Sorrento in 2013, I engaged in a conversation with Ben and Martina while ordering coffee. I remarked that the cafe sold Irish and French coffee, but no Italian coffee, to which Martina retorted “Erm... Cappuccino? “

 

Catherine once phoned me to ask why she couldn't get on Windows Messenger. She asked me if the reason was because it was windy outside. My response was hysterical laughter.

 

Menus often contain the occasional spelling mistake, but this obvious fact was not picked up on Genna who ordered 'Fried Green Paper' from an Indian restaurants menu. When fried green pepper arrived, this caused her to interrogate a somewhat confused waiter.

 

In a conversation about Mozzarella cheese, Martina’s brain briefly disengaged when she informed us that some mozzarella cheese comes from bulls’ milk. In unison, we all said “Bulls milk?” I think you meant buffalo, Martina.

 

This story came from Martina, who was talking about Brighton Pier when Katie said "Isn't there another pier that's decapitated?"

 

I was talking to a guy I'd met for the first time who uses a mutual internet forum. When I asked him why he called himself 'Red Kites', he told me he got the name from Oxford having them reintroduced to the area. I was unaware at this point that a kite was also a type of bird.

 

My ex partner told me about her late mother of a time they waited to be served food in a restaurant. She wanted her vegetables to be cooked Alicante. I’m not entirely sure it’s possible to have your vegetables cooked in the style of a city in Spain. I think she meant ‘al dente’, which is in fact Italian.

 

While looking at a menu in a Moroccan restaurant, Rachel asked innocently "What does Arab sausage taste like?"

 

Whilst rowing on the River Wey in Guildford, we passed a sandy hill which Martina thought was called “The Golden Showers.”

 

Whilst relaxing outside a pub along the Thames, Rachel was intrigued about Caroline's somewhat antiquated camera and asked "Does that take pictures?"