Charity Begins At Home

During the late 1970's and early 1980's I went to church. In view of growing up amongst a family of atheists, that should raise a tidal wave of eyebrows. However our motives were different. My father was a diabetic, and churches appeared to be a common venue for the British Diabetic Association's many jumble sales. I suppose there has always been a feeling amongst many regarding how selfless these charity workers are, giving up their free time to help others or to promote a cause. However, behind closed church doors hid a multitude of sins. Charity workers rummaging through stock, intended for sale, where they kept all the best bits for themselves. The most exciting part of the day was not selling to the public, but to purchase cheaply what you liked yourself. As these jumble sales were never policed, many items were never even purchased. I'm not suggesting that everything that ended in the homes of these charity workers were stolen, but it was obvious that many items were. And who was gonna blow the whistle? It was hard to determine the ratio of dishonesty. Once the doors were opened and a soon-to-be disappointed public were let through the doors, I was hoping we could sell everything quickly so we could all go home. As the crowds and the stock lessened, we eventually closed the doors for the day. The takings were counted and as we all stood around smugly pleased with ourselves, it was revealed that we took precisely

FUCK ALL!! My mother, father and myself arrived home. My father stood in horror as we was reacquainted with an old clock he donated to the jumble sale. I had the misfortune of buying it during the 'rummaging process'. Well, they do say charity begins at home.

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